Monday, April 21, 2014

Catching Up. Always Catching Up

What I want to do:

-answer the phone when it rings
-return emails in good stead with thoughtful responses
-invite people I love over for good food and long visits
-remember important things and honor the changes that are happening in the lives of people I love
-spend time with my girls one-on-one and engage them in weighty conversations and belly laughs
-always be up on the girl's homework, school projects, and correspondence
-meet people I love for long and rambling dialogue, tears, and laughter over hot tea, or good gin
-offer to look after the toddlers of my friends so that they can have a break
-plan and shop for healthy and delicious meals for my family
-read to my hearts content
-write a blog post for every time I am stopped in my tracks by something that hurts or delights me

What I actually do:

-never answer the phone
-occasionally return emails, rarely with the immediacy their senders deserve
-think of people I want to spend time cooking for and sharing a meal with
-feel guilty about not inviting them over
-wallow in a bit of shame for not being able to
-forget milestones, events and changes my friends are experiencing
-become frozen at responding to my failures because I feel I've let them down
-lay awake in my bed at night thinking of all of the things I want to talk to my girls about
-forget piano lessons, deadlines, and forms
-lament how much I miss the most significant people in my life
-wish I could give my friends in the toddler trenches a break, but know I have no break to give
-fly by the seat of my pants and spread peanut butter and jam on bread more often than I used to
-stare at the stack of amazing books on my bedside table and dream of longer days to read them
-say the words I'd write about what hurts or delights me, in my head at night - in lieu of the page

What I need to do:

-become more organized and intentional about guarding the things that are most important
-get up earlier to make more of my day
-say "no" without guilt or excuses

What I want to do:

-forgive myself for not measuring up
-create a way to press "pause" on life and catch up, once and for all


  1. I think somewhere, somehow, we are sisters. I could've written that same list, but not nearly as eloquently and well as you did. Love you, Karla.

  2. Oh ede.
    I love you so much! I am hereby claiming you as my sister. You're stuck with me. (I guess that means Nathan can start calling me Auntie Karla at p-t conferences.)

    Somewhere in that list of "want to do's" is a date with ede. Sisters gotta stick together.